Jefferson/The Mad Hatter + his scar
THAT FIRST SITE IS EVERY WRITER’S DREAM DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I’VE TRIED WRITING SOMETHING AND THOUGHT GOD DAMN IS THERE A SPECIFIC WORD FOR WHAT I’M USING TWO SENTENCES TO DESCRIBE AND JUST GETTING A BUNCH OF SHIT GOOGLE RESULTS
Hey, thunderboltsortofapenny, for your consideration -
President America and the ALS ice bucket challenge.
"We have an image problem."
"We do not have an image problem, Nat."
"We do. AP says we do, Clint’s polls say we do, Joey Lucas says we do, and I say we do.” Natasha says. “We had good numbers after the State of the Union, better when the hate crimes bill passed, and phenomenal numbers over the summer-“
"Shocking, truly." Bucky replied dryly. Natasha gave him a cool look and continued.
"Numbers we didn’t use, and numbers that are rapidly falling as we head into the new Congressional year, and into midterms." Bucky groans, pinching the bridge of his nose
"Not as bad as it might be in a month. We’re losing the Boomers again, while males over 35, the Midwest is pissed off about the trade agreement, even the 18-35s are slipping."
"The trade agreement was happening whether we wanted it or not, I mean we want it, but it was gonna-"
"James. You are interrupting." Bucky snapped his jaw shut and looked back to Natasha, the perfect face of innocence.
"As I was saying, our numbers are getting less than satisfactory. We need something, something small, calm down, I’m not advocating a policy change. But we need something that will capture our energy from the campaign, while appealing to the older demographics that don’t care for the gung-ho social media platforms we use.”
"Okay." Bucky paused. "What do you have in mind?"
"We’ve been challenged to a dare."
They show the plan to Clint first, who naturally agrees before Nat can even pull up the video. Tony isn’t consulted; Pepper smiles and says to leave it to her. Bruce balks, until Bucky pulls MJ into the office to made sad faces at him until Banner finally gives in.
"You know you have to do this too." Bucky says as they finish filling in the assistants on the plan. "Senior Staff includes the Press Secretary."
Natasha stops, considering the information. Looks down at her suit, and her shoes.
"Jemma!" Natasha’s assistant pokes her head out of the bullpen. "Send someone to get my gym bag from the locker room? Oh and I’m going to need you to do something in about an hour." Jemma’s already on the phone with someone as Nat turns back to Bucky.
"Just for that, you have to convince him to do it on your own, Bucky." She grins as she walks into her office.
"-and then we challenge three people to do the same." The President doesn’t respond, just plays the video again.
"And Thor did this?"
"And named us."
"Named you, actually. And someone named Gerald." The President has to muffle a grin at Bucky’s tone.
"Yeah, why not? It’ll be fun."
"It will not be fun."
"That’s because you don’t know who I’m nominating."
"Okay." Larry says. "Rolling in three, two, one."
"Hello my fellow Americans," Steve says, grinning at the camera. "Recently, the ALS Association issued an awareness campaign entitled the Ice Bucket Challenge where individuals are challenged to have a bucket of ice water dumped over their heads, or donate a hundred dollars to help Strike Out ALS. Well, citizens, I was personally challenged by Ambassador Thor Odinson of Asgard, and I thought I should enlist the help of my staff.”
Steve grins even wider as the camera zooms out to show Clint, Bruce, Steve, Bucky, Tony and Natasha all lined up in chairs on the Rose Garden patio. The men have chosen to save their jackets and are in shirtsleeves, and Bruce’s silk tie is also in a safe place. Natasha’s Jimmy Choos are in her office.
"Now, we’ve all made personal donations to the ALS Association, and the White House will meet the hundred dollar donation. Unfortunately, the White House cannot donate more than that, due to impartiality and some number of laws the Attorney General has promised me are very important." Clint snorts.
"We also thought this would be a great opportunity for our staff to blow off some steam, so each senior staffer, and myself, will be bucket-ed by our aides and assistants. Gentlemen, Lady, now is the time to grovel." Steve says.
Tony shoots Pepper his “I’m adorable and you love me and I will buy you many many shoes” smile as she walks up behind him with the bucket. Her smile is less “you are and I do and I want red slingbacks” and much more “you’re a dead man.” MJ lines up behind Bruce and gives him an apologetic smile. Skye grins like it’s Christmas as she grips the bucket tighter behind Clint. Jemma pre-emptively apologizes to Natasha, Lorraine smirks and winks at Bucky, and Peter solemnly steps up behind Steve with his bucket.
Steve smiles, as if he’s about to get free ice cream instead of a ten-gallon bucket of ice water in his face.
"So America, this is President Rogers an-"
"NOW!" Peter yells as he tips the bucket over Steve’s head mid-speech.
"COLD COLD COLD!!!!" Clint yells.
"HOLY-ssshhhhhhhh" Tony yelps
"OH WOW NOT-NOT OKAY" Bruce shouts.
Natasha makes an abortive groan of dismay but doesn’t say anything
"Ffffffffuuuuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-ir chance to run now" Bucky manages to say as ice slides down his back.
Steve laughs. Tony glares at him in disbelief.
"May you step on a hundred Legos, Mr. President." he mutters. Bucky and Bruce both shake their heads back and forth, throwing cold water everywhere. Steve schools his features again, but can’t quite keep a sharp grin off his face.
"And now, per the rules, I nominate Philip Coulson, Sam Wilson, and Senator Alexander Pierce for the Ice Bucket Challenge."
The video cuts out just as Bucky starts laughing.
"Friendship is a fucking hassle."
someone told this pony about bronies.
"what is your cutie mark?"
"The fuck should i know I don’t care"
So I was writing a small paper in Microsoft Word and the program suddenly crashed (I saved a couple minutes before, thank god) and I get this message in the corner of my screen two seconds afterward
what the fuck